Okay, so, this is an odd topic to start with, but it's what's been on my mind, so: I've been seeing this guy for about a week (four dates). He's really smart and nice and fun and weird and also wealthy, which is cool, and we really click, which is rare for me, but the thing is that he's really, really fat, like, fat as a cow. He must weigh almost 200 pounds and he's only 5'8" or so. It's like I'm dating Seth Rogen, and I know he likes to pretend Katherine Heigl would go out with him, but she'd probably throw up at the sight of his fat-surrounded penis. (Note: Seth, I like the movies you've been in and I have nothing against you personally and we should totally have coffee sometime.) I'm embarrassed to be seen in public with him. The other day, we were at a concert and I was looking around and there were all these cute thin boys and I wished I could be dating one of them instead. And I felt like everyone was looking at me and judging. It's sooooo shallow of me to be saying things like this. It's really terrible. But I keep thinking, if I stay with him, my children will be fat, my family will laugh at me, and I'll be sexing a fattie. I don't even know how sex with a fat person works. Maybe from behind? Or can I make him lose weight? How long do you have to stay with someone before you can make that kind of request? Long enough so that by then we would have had sex, right? Whenever I go outside with him, I worry that I'll run into people I know and I think, Can I pass him off as just a friend? And the thing is, there's also another boy I like, but he's pretty depraved and has no money and is still in college. He's not a realistic prospect, but he's probably the one I'm going to choose. Why? Because I like to make myself miserable.
I'm not really sure what this blog is going to be about yet. Hopefully it won't all be my retarded dating life.
