Fake it til you make it?

I should be nicer. I've come to this conclusion. Yet something holds me back - I'm not a nice person. Will I be a fake if I suddenly start acting nice? Or is that something everyone does? Is everyone just as mean as I am? The only reason I want to be nicer is because I want people to be nicer to me. I want to go out with a nice guy. Does everyone act nice just so people will be nice to them? Interpersonal relations are not my strong suit, so I'm honestly not sure.

Gerbil surprise

My brother got a gerbil - Harvey Charizard. Google tells me that Charizard is a Pokemon character. He's keeping it in my sister's room, where he sleeps when she's at college. She comes home for spring break on Thursday. We're keeping Harvey as a surprise.

I've decided that Chicago Dom is lame and I want nothing to do with him. He got really mad on Friday because I made a joke about death. He says death isn't funny. I don't get it. Hasn't he ever heard a dead baby joke? He also said it was disgusting that I wanted my grandmother to die, and it's like, she's 88, she's deeply unhappy, she can't move around, all her friends are dead, her husband is dead, and all she does is sit around watching CNN. I think at a certain point, you'd have to be crazy to want to keep living. When she was 100, my great-grandmother decided she'd had enough and stopped eating, and three or four days later, she was dead. That's not tragic, it's natural. She was basically immobile and she was kind of senile and I'm sure she was bored and all she could eat was mashed-up nursing home food. People aren't meant to live like that. I'm not saying that it would have been immoral or disgusting for her to keep living, or that people who are paralyzed have no reason to live. I'm just saying that I can understand why she wanted to die and if I could have, I wouldn't have done anything to stop her. She was 100. She lived a good long life.

To end on a happy note, I'd like to say that I love peeing. It just feels good. Poor syphilitics.