The Christmas tradeoff is where in order to get presents, you have to visit your relatives, and good LORD I hate visiting my relatives. First, my dumb bitch cousin starts talking about McCain and she's all like, "His wife is sooooo put together. I hate Obama. I mean, I have to vote for my best interests, right?" like, bitch please, your fiancee just lost his job at Lehman Brothers and had to take a sucky JP Morgan job for half the money, and she keeps going on and on about her Hawaii wedding and, "Whenever I go to the Four Seasons in Hawaii, they bring me mini Rice Krispies treats as I sun myself on the beach," and "My housekeeper is the cutest little thing! Her name is Naire but we call her Narnia! I think she's Brazilian or something." She's so fucking noveau riche it makes me gag, and you six readers all know I destroyed my gag reflex years ago. I don't hate her, mainly because I never have to see her, but when we do collide, it's exhaustingly annoying.
Anyway, my cousin was obnoxious, but what my aunt did was bizarre. My brother and sister and I were talking about how much we want Hirohito to go away and never come back, and my aunt gets red in the face and she's like, "It's hard for him! You're ganging up on him! He's in a foreign country and it's so hard," and all I could think was, If you want him, you can take him, but until then, you have no idea what you're talking about.
But enough with my stupid family stuff, tomorrow I get presents!!!!! Tradeoff worth it!!!
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