My Love Life, or The Opposite of Sex

Oh man, I forgot to write about my terrible date from last Wednesday! It was my own fault, really. Nobody wanted to hang out, so I went on Craigslist and found a guy who did. We went to a bar and it was okay, he was whatever, we had fun, it got to be 2:30 and I was like, OK, time to go home, and he was like, wait, I want to go to the Boiler Room and trade some Klonopin for cocaine, and I'd had a couple drinks and I knew I couldn't get myself home, so I was like, OK, and we went to the Boiler Room and I collapsed in this comfy leather chair and watched him approach guys and whisper in their ears. You'd think that in a gay bar, I could at least watch some cute guys making out, but they were all kind of fat and old and I found myself not aroused. And I tried picturing them doing it and everything. So that was pretty bad, being abandoned next to the bathroom in a gay bar while my date went around looking for cocaine. Then some guy came up to me and kissed me, just like that, without even saying anything, which was gross. He smelled bad and he made my mouth smell bad and I threw water in his face, but I don't think he got wet. I should have been more outraged, but really, I was just disgusted. Eventually my date came back and started begging me for $2 to buy beer and I was like, NO, I'M THE GIRL, and he was like, but I bought you all that alcohol before, and I gave up and I was like, just take a five from my purse, and he said he'd give me change but he didn't, he was like, I had to tip the bartender, blah blah blah, I'm stealing $3 from you. On the plus side, I met some very nice gay guys and they all said I was cute. I got one guy's name and I tried to find him on Facebook, but there were like a hundred people with the same name and I couldn't go through them all. (Aldo, if you're reading this, friend me!) The weird thing is, even though it was, objectively speaking, an awful date, I didn't really have a bad time. It was kind of an adventure.

Anyway, the dating gods made it up to me that Friday by giving me a good date with an interesting guy. I don't want to say much about it because I don't want to jinx it and also I don't know if he reads this blog and I don't want him to get a swelled head. It's important for boys to know their place.